Animal Moments Read online



  Animal Moments

  The Joshua Cerberus

  Haiku Collection

  A self published work

  Copyright 2014

  In dedication

  to my old tabby Gizmo

  that violent cat.

  Legal Disclosure.

  These are too boring to read.

  A waste of a page.

  Piracy is fine,

  but if you enjoy my work,

  please leave a review!

  If you quote my work,

  give credit where credits due.

  This is all I ask.

  I owe them for giving me

  opportunity.

  For my cover art,

  I owe ebooklaunch.com

  they gave me my look.

  Happy Turtle

  Basking in the sun,

  Turtle, such serene smile,

  living life care free.

  Sad Turtle

  When laying her eggs,

  sea turtle weeps openly,

  not all will survive.

  Covet thy Neighbor

  Look at snooty Snail,

  so smug in its fancy shell,

  Slug is not jealous!

  Lackadaisy Slug

  without home or shoulder pain

  Snail is not jealous!

  A Fly's Life

  Born in a carcass.

  Grow, eat, breed, find new carcass,

  a perfect fly life.

  Born in a carcass.

  Grow, eat, fly into a web,

  oh no a spider!

  Proportional Strength

  I bare my own weight.

  Ant bares twenty times own weight.

  I feel very small.

  Someday

  Gold fish in a bowl,

  swims in circles all day long,

  cant find the way out.

  Swimming back and forth,

  no where to hide in this bowl!

  The cat is watching...

  Poor depressed goldfish,

  lets put you back in your bowl.

  Please don't jump again.

  Aggressive Reflection

  Beta fish puffs fins,

  So angry at that mirror!

  Does it have a zit?

  Colorful

  Insecure beta

  struggles to feel masculine

  with his rainbow tail.

  Six more Weeks of Winter

  Groundhog comes from hole,

  Oh no! People everywhere!

  Go back down, they boo.

  Behold the power

  of an extended winter!

  Merciless ground hog.

  No mistakes were made

  Cat prepares to jump,

  Misses target, grooms his ear.

  He meant to do that.

  Eyes of a Predator

  I love cats dearly,

  yet when they glare with slit eyes,

  I just feel threatened.

  Colors they cant see

  Dog is color blind,

  Sees only yellow, blue, gray.

  Red Ball? Green grass? Rude!

  Did she call me fat?

  The elephant mind,

  never forgets anything,

  like my birthday, dear!

  Curiosity Scolded the Dog

  Whats this, no whats that?

  Oooo, I want this, its mine, right?

  The dog stole my shoe.

  Set backs

  Spend all day and night,

  Perfect web finally done,

  here comes boy with stick...

  It feels Cold

  What temperature?

  Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.

  Thank you, kind cricket!

  A Spicy Meal

  Perfect blood type found.

  Mosquito takes a bite. SLAP!

  Its revenge itches.

  We Just Want Companionship

  Lonely is the tick,

  So desperate for friendship,

  it will not let go.

  Desperate leeches,

  steal a sudden kiss on you,

  and they sure linger.

  These needy lamprey,

  they sure can sink their teeth in,

  when shown open arms.

  Bed bug colony,

  cuddle with you all night long,

  giving you kisses.

  Your tapeworm knows that

  you cheated on your diet,

  but it doesn't mind.

  The louse and the flea,

  both bite to make you itchy,

  they just want a taste.

  Turtle Stack

  On top of a pile,

  basks the turtle with moxie,

  twenty friends beneath.

  Turtle low on stack,

  Spots a hawk so far above,

  all turtles tumble.

  Slow turtle they say,

  they have not seen scared turtle

  swimming fast away!

  Turtle Kisses

  Wiggle little worm,

  a perfect meal for a fish,

  SNAP! Turtle tongue trick.

  Finger comes too close,

  is that a tasty worm treat?

  Do not pet turtle.

  Climbing

  Small baby turtle,

  not even large as a coin,

  will some day be big.

  Build a turtle fence,

  build it at least three feet high.

  Yes! Turtles can climb!

  Turtle flipped on back,

  has an upside down smile,

  until back on feet.

  Shell within a Shell

  Turtle in a zoo,

  no reason to hide in shell,

  must be photo shy.

  Turtle in a tank,

  Swims quickly into glass wall,

  but doesn't go far.

  Friendship

  Sometimes a tortoise,

  mistakes a rock for a friend,

  a friend that listens.

  Sometimes a puppy

  mistakes his tail for a friend,

  that likes racing fast.

  Sometimes a goldfish

  mistakes reflection for friend,

  a friend always there.

  Sometimes a feline,

  is mistaken as a friend,

  they would disagree.

  What now?

  Dog chases a car,

  comes to full stop for red light,

  did not plan for this.

  Terror of the Night

  In the darkest night,

  A feast of blood for a bat,

  licking chicken toes.

  Roller-coaster

  Trapped in a small cage,

  a hamster running on wheel,

  is given a thrill

  Bats

  Majestic flyer,

  protecting us from insects,

  bats deserve our love

  Mud bath

  Don't call pigs dirty,

  when spas charge big for mud baths,

  and to lay in the sun.

  Poodles

  Classic poodle dog,

  hair cut to protect from cold,

  while swimming for ducks.

  Modern toy poodle,

  so much louder than it looks.

  As small as a rat.

  Rabbits

  Angora rabbit,

  a critter I dream to hug.

  The giant poof ball.

  The Flemish giant

  towers over the bunnies,

  as well as children.

  Ode to jackalope,

  bounding as fast as a deer,

  wearing antlers too.

  Always on alert,

  rabbits can see everything,

  just try t
o surprise!

  Pampered

  At one point worshiped,

  our house cats remain pampered,

  time has changed nothing!

  One Hump or Two?

  No straw broke a back.

  Two hundred pounds of trade goods,

  is why camel fell!

  Long expedition.

  The camel still chews his curd,

  a day and night more.

  When a camel spits,

  call in the hazmat squadron,

  a bio hazard!

  Adaptation

  Called the rat with wings,

  a pigeon is well suited,

  living in New York.

  Born without a shell,

  the resourceful octopus

  hides within pop can.

  Catfish

  Do not pet catfish,

  they have sharp fins and whiskers,

  and they do not purr.

  You city slicker!

  Of course I'm not lying!

  Yes! Catfish meow!

  When a fishing cat,

  catches and eats a catfish...

  cannibalism?

  Bird Nerd

  The owl looks so smart,

  but by the standards of birds,

  they are a bit dim.

  Bumper Bison

  Do not block their path,

  for buffalo hold no qualms

  tipping over cars.

  Scuttler

  Walking side to side,

  adorable crustacean.

  Who would eat a crab?

  Scuttle to the left.

  Contemplate meaning of life.

  Scuttle to the right.

  Nostalgic Groove

  Look at that llama!

  Maybe it's the emperor?

  Nah, it couldn't be...

  The Best Season

  Little grasshoppers,

  attached to each others tails,

  keeping company.

  Two bunnies go down,

  twenty bunnies come back up!

  Fun time bunny den.

  The birds are singing.

  Oh come on! Its four AM!

  Just mate already!

  Capitalism and Crabs

  The hermit crab hut.

  I feel so sorry for those

  with weird painted shells.

  If it Ain’t Broke

  The steadfast 'gator

  unchanged since prehistory.

  Can't fix perfection!

  Tribulations of a Ferret Owner

  Lost for days on end,

  getting into anything,

  their spines like rubber.

  Good Goats

  With eyes so scary,

  head butting trolls off bridges,

  digesting tin cans.

  Earthquake

  When elephants fight,

  the trees break and lions flee

  nature's frightful strength.

  Don't Drink at the Circus

  Elephant parade,

  trunk to tail in conga line,

  just a tad bit drunk.

  Not to Mention Socks

  Freezing snow leopard,

  please accept my humble gift.

  Kittens need mittens

  Fabulous Frogs

  Frogs puffing their throats

  are reminiscent of men

  flaunting in bars.

  Indiana Jones

  can't whip a fly from the sky

  as well as a frog.

  Bright poison dart frogs

  vibrant to warn predators,

  attractive to us.

  When you eat frogs legs,

  there remains an angry frog,

  ready for revenge!

  Sudden Encounter

  Wayward antelope

  ran into hungry lion,

  they quickly eloped!

  Its All Relative

  The leopard gecko,

  is not as fierce as leopard,

  except to crickets!

  Guard Duty

  Meerkat standing tall,

  watching vigil over clan,

  has many worries.

  Reinventing the Wheel

  Rolly polly bug,

  hides while curled up in a ball,

  sometimes rolls down hill.

  Bee-B-Gone

  Honey bee buzzing

  has become so hard to hear

  as they fade away.

  Better than Alimony

  Praying mantis bride,

  she will show him no remorse

  as she eats his head.

  Male Pregnancy

  Exhausted sea horse,

  not a moment to himself,

  a stay at home dad.

  Bells and Saliva

  Little wiener dog,

  waddle as fast as you can!

  Dinner time has come.

  To Serve and Protect

  Brave German shepherd.

  A member of police force

  with badge on collar.

  Hot Dogs

  Skittish dalmatian,

  what are you even doing?

  Stay away from fire!

  Bumper Sea-cows

  When sea manatees

  collide with each other they

  bounce and float away

  Typos

  The capybara,

  is not the chupacabra,

  stop giving it goat!

  Dragons

  Dragons fill pet stores,

  be they water or bearded,

  but never with wings.

  Rodents

  Mice are small and cute,

  but you can not forget that

  they are fed to snakes.

  Rats are big and smart,

  but boy rats are awkward pets,

  due to big testes.

  Hamsters and Gerbils

  are in an unending race

  running on their wheels.

  Guinea pigs are weird,

  When experimented on

  they glow in the dark.

 

  Not to be Mistaken

  Vicious centipede,

  you are like a millipede,

  but filled with hatred

  Farewell

  This day had to come,

  goodbye to cherished friendship,

  more than just a pet.

  About the Author

  feels a little self serving

  let us go without.

  About the Reader

  is so much better to me!

  Feel free to contact.

  Email

  I am on Twitter,

  posting haiku quite often

  even by request.

  https://twitter.com/JoshuaCerberus

  Other titles in

  The Joshua Cerberus

  Haiku Collection.

  Our First World Problems